What Is A Jersey Foul?
A Jersey foul is something true fans don’t have to worry about. Put simply, it’s when somebody wears a jersey that just doesn’t make any sense. There are several variations of jersey fouls ranging from minor (Wearing a hockey jersey with a C on the wrong side) to Major (wearing an old-school penguins jersey with Crosby’s name on it even though he never wore that style) to Flagrant (wearing a half and half jersey with two players names on it.) None of these things are advised.
Types of Jersey Fouls:
- Doesn’t Belong Here – You see a few at every sporting event. These are the people who buy the jersey of the super bowl MVP and then wear it to their home team’s games week and in and week out. Sometimes they even wear it to hockey or basketball games. This is a Minor foul. (Exception: teams that no longer exist are not only allowed, but encouraged)
- Mispelled Name – There’s nothing sadder than misspelling the name of the player on one’s jersey. There’s still debate as to whether or not those crazy Russian spellings count. This is a Flagrant foul.
- Inaccurate jersey – There’s lots of ways to be inaccurate and this foul can range from Minor to Major to Flagrant depending upon how inaccurate the jersey is. If it’s a Wings jersey with a backwards wheel, it’s flagrant. If it’s having the C on the wrong breast it can be minor. Other things qualify too, like putting a recent player’s name on an older style jersey he never wore or wearing one of those awful thrift store versions that are made by a different manufacturer.
- Non-Existant Jerseys – This is also a Major (sometimes Flagrant) foul. Things like Pink versions of jerseys or other color variations that the team never wore are just plain awful.
- Signed Jerseys – This is a major foul. These are for framing, not for wearing. Call a flagrant foul if the jersey is signed by a player other than the one named on the back.
- Stupid Names – the NFL may advertise the ability to put “Summer Brees” on your jersey, but that doesn’t mean you should do it. This is a minor foul as often these things are given as gifts. (Exception: “Ron Mexico” Falcons jerseys are still hilarious)
- Out of Date – If your player plays on a different team it’s time to move on. That means all of you Green Bay fans still wearing Favre jerseys need to make a trip to your nearest Walmart for something new. (Exception: Retired players jerseys are acceptable if one of the two conditions are met: 1. they just recently retired or 2. they’re in the hall of fame) This can be a Minor or Major foul depending upon the player worn.
- WTF? - This is always a flagrant foul. You’ll know it’s a WTF foul when seeing the jersey actually causes you to say “what the fuck?” Jerseys with cutoff sleeves or homemade iron-on patches count. Half and Half jerseys also fall in this category. Having two sons on two teams isn’t even a good excuse for wearing one of those split jerseys. In that case, just pick the one of your favorite child (come on, he already knows) or don’t wear a jersey at all.